Posts Tagged ‘Beauty’

Of Empaths and Collateral Beauty

December 31, 2016

I want to talk about the movie Collateral Beauty, but I want to start with another piece of recent pondering in order to lead into the movie.

If I recall it was just about a year ago now a friend asked me the question while we were on retreat, “Are you an empath?” I do not remember the exact context of the conversation at the time, but I remember having to ask what that referred to as I had never heard the term before, other than assuming it had something to do with empathy. She explained that empaths have a sense about them and can take on others pain, joy, struggle, and emotions and/or are especially sensitive to positive or negative energy in a room.

I came home after the retreat and looked up empath and read numerous articles, blogs, and journals about those who identify themselves as such. The articles spanned a wide array of theories and abilities, some for my more practical and skeptical self, seemed a little bizarre, but many of the articles I resonated with deeply in my being and experience. Here is one of the articles I found helpful in my readings, https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201602/10-traits-empathic-people found in Psychology Today.

Some days I can feel like the whole weight of the world is on my shoulders and I have a difficult time shaking the funk so to speak. When I walk in a hospital room when a family is struggling with difficult news and making difficult decisions I can often feel an almost physical heaviness, a tangible distress in my body. Even in other places, the office, a social gathering, dinner with friends, or when it is just TrweepingbuddhauDee and I, there is an energy, presence, whatever one may call it, that is often palpable. I believe this is one reason I found such connection with the image of the Weeping Buddha from the first time I saw it and read the legend behind the figure. Here is a link to the legend of the Weeping Buddha, if you are interested, https://www.buddhagroove.com/what-does-the-weeping-buddha-signify/.

Now to the movie, if you are reading this and wondering, “What the heck?” hang with me I’ll make the connection shortly. TruDee and I went to see the movie Collateral Beauty last night. The movie, in every review I have read has been panned, by some critics as the worst movie of 2016. Now, I know I am not a professional critic and evidently do not look for the same things as those who make a living watching movies, but I found the movie moving, meaningful, and deep.

One critic said the movie failed at answering the question of “What is collateral beauty.” I would agree, the movie is not clear on exactly what it is or what it means. Being the pondering kind of person I am, such a critique does not disturb me. I have no problem with stories, movies, and books that leave me hanging trying to wrestle out the meaning for myself. Heck, I have at the foundation of my vocation a book I have spent fifty seven years wrestling out the meaning in the bible!

I am not going to give any spoilers in this writing but I want to make a brief connection between my pondering of one who has identified with the empaths of the world and what came to me in the movie Collateral Beauty. I have been on a soul and self-searching journey this past year. With the help of a counselor, and a long distance friend, I have resolved some pieces of my journey I did not realize needed resolved. One major difference for me is the Christmas season, every Christmas Season I always have a day, I even named it, my Melancholy Day. I never know when it is going to hit me, but in the midst of the celebrations I have a day when grief overwhelms me and I find it difficult to function. This year, it never came, or at least not at this writing now six days post-Christmas. I believe that while I still have those moments of deep connection of struggle and joy, the day never came because of an intentional attempt to move my focus.

What I found in the movie, was depth and peace. No it did not answer the question of collateral beauty other than to suggest it had to do with connection. I found the movie beautiful, difficult, emotional, and fodder for much contemplation. What I came away with was this, and I think it is very timely at least for me, in this world, in our country, in our state, in our churches, there is so much pain, fear, hate, discrimination, uncertainty, and incivility we have a choice. While these things cause me, and so many others, concern, anger, and fear, in the midst of so much Collateral Damage, I have to choose not to miss the Collateral Beauty. The movie did not answer the question because this beauty will be different for all of us, we will find it in different ways, in different places, in different people, but I must be intentional about seeking it out and allow it to feed and nurture my passion and work in the world, otherwise, like Howard in the movie, the damage of negativity, suffering, grief, hate, and xenophobia will consume me and drive me deep into that ever darkening spiral of hopeless despair, especially for one who connects as an empath in the world. I highly recommend this movie, take some tissues with you.

So, as I close this writing, let me say on this last day of 2016, look for, seek out, be unrelenting in your search for beauty on your path, in your world, in each and every one you encounter, it may be what ultimately saves our world, saves ourselves.

If I were to make a New Year’s Resolution, though it is not what I am calling this, it would  be to continue my journey, as best I can, from moment to moment, seeking out undauntedly the beauty of everything, everything. I know 2016 has been a difficult year, but in the coming year, embrace beauty my friends, you are enough, you are beautiful, you are not alone, I love you… and together … may we make 2017 beautiful and filled with grace, justice, compassion, and love.

Here is to Beauty and Hope –

Kent

An Open Letter to Granddaughter Nora on the Occasion of Her Birth

May 27, 2016

Dear Nora,

Good morning! As I shared with your cousin Kadee, I wanted to write a letter to you as well on the occasion of your birth and entry into our family. Today you are four days old, and in the grand scheme of things it has been a pretty normal, whatever normal is, four days. Although, you have already been through a tornado warning even before you left the hospital! Welcome to Tornado Alley! I am so glad you are safe this morning.

As I sit in our living room with a cup of coffee and the sun streaming through the kitchen windows I want to share some pondering with you as I think about this journey on which you have now begun. There are a lot of things I wish were different in the world today, things I wish we had taken care of before you arrived.

First let me share with you the state of our world on this fourth day of your journey. I want to apologize, as your Poppie, for the state of said world. It is and would have always been my hope and dream that you would have been born into a world free of war, bigotry, hatred, discrimination, disease, racism, sexism, fear, and exclusion. Alas, we have muddled that up pretty well over the centuries and we still have a long way to go.

I apologize for our countries and leaders who still believe somehow war and conflict are answers to our world disagreements. I am sorry we still send men and women into wars where they lose limb and life because of our inability to sit down at a table and discuss civilly and respectfully what it would take to have world peace.

I apologize for our lack of foresight as we still have not learned to care for our earth and God’s good green creation, not taking into account those like you who will have to come after us and clean up our mess.

I apologize for our fear of the other and for governments and even religion, who still try to make laws to discriminate against those they see as different.  Not only the world, but our country, our state, even in the church we have found ways to do harm to others simply because of who they are, what they believe, and who they love.

I apologize for our country and world where you are born with an extra challenge just because you are a female; born into a country and a world who does not believe you should be paid equally to males for the same work, not based on your ability but simply because of your gender. I apologize we still make laws that limit your choices regarding career, health care, and reproductive care; some implied and some blatant.

I apologize for our bent toward violence, especially in our country, where gun violence is the highest of all the major countries, and we are want to pass sensible laws to perhaps make you a little safer.

I apologize for a culture that, at this point, will not always take you seriously, believe you; a culture that will critique what you wear, how you look, and what you should be doing simply because you are a woman.

I hope, by the time you are old enough to understand these things, you will look at me and say, “Poppie, really? The world was really like that when I was born? I’m glad it is not now.” I hope this with all I am!

Nora, with all this being said, it might seem the world is a scary place, and I will not lie, it can be. But I also want to say, the world is a wondrously magnificent place! Filled with wonder and mystery, beauty and grace, spectacular sights, sounds, and smells and touch. The world is an incredible gift filled with art, music, whimsy, and magic.

I want to reassure you there are people in the world who are tirelessly working to change all of these scary things. There are people in the world and in the church who are ardent in the fight for justice for all, welcome, inclusion, and love. And because of the beauty of these people, I am again and again filled with hope that one day, peace and love will win.

This is the world I know you have been born into as well, because I know your mom and dad, and they will teach you and love you and show you all that is good in this world! They will raise you to be a strong and independent woman, though you have already expressed that to a degree just in your coming, a little stubborn you were. And you will be encouraged to be whatever, whoever, and wherever you will dream to be. I know your family both on your daddy’s side and you mommy’s side, families filled with love and care and support. And I know your Grammy and your Poppie, and we will do everything we can to show you how wondrously beautiful you are as is the world of which you are apart.

One more thing, and this is really important, I want you to know, your Dad and Mom will tell you this for themselves I am sure as well, but I want to say it from Poppie and Grammy. We love you. We will always love you. There is no place you can be, no situation in which you find yourself, no choice you could ever make, that will change that. We will ALWAYS love you, period! Period! And there is nothing you can do about it.

I am anxiously awaiting this coming Sunday afternoon when I can hold you in my arms again, kiss your face, and sing and whisper I love you in your ears. I also want to say that I am going to share this letter on my blog as well. Because it gives me an opportunity to brag about our newest perfect granddaughter, but also because not only do I hope all these things for you, but I pray and work every day that all of us, the church, our society and culture universally will one day embrace such a world where justice will roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever flowing stream, a world where love and justice for all is the rule rather than the exception, a world where all means all. May it be so. May it be soon.

Nora, welcome to our crazy Little family. We are so fortunate to have you with us. May you always know God loves you, we love you, and you are never alone. Ever!

 

My Love Always,

Poppie