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I sat at my desk yesterday in my office and tears streamed down my face as I began reading the reports of the harmful and discriminatory language being removed from our UMC Book of Discipline. This writing is just the beginning of my own processing of the recent decisions of our General Conference.
These are tears of joy and celebration that the UMC has finally acknowledged the harm and injustice it created 50+ years ago with the word, incompatible.
The tears, while they were certainly tears of joy, were more than that. As I have processed the day’s events, I find myself in a tension between grief, relief, and joy. Fifty-plus years of pain, abuse, and dismissal of our LGBTQIA+ siblings and we have finally taken the first step of rectifying the sin of exclusion and denial of the Spirit’s gifts and work in the lives of so many gifted and called of God into the full life of the church… a first step. I say first step, and a huge first step it is, because it is not lost on me that there is still work to be done. I pray a day of repentance from our UMC for these acts of exclusion and harm comes soon.
The grief comes in several layers. The grief of acknowledgement as a straight white male, I too participated early in my life, in the belittling, diminishing, name calling of those who were LGBTQIA+ and my repentance of such harm. This grief is part of the journey toward wholeness for me with my own experiences and relationships instilled in me a passion for justice and full inclusion in the church.
The grief comes from knowing so many LGBTQIA+ friends and colleagues who were harmed by the church to the point they found no solace in any community of faith, let alone the UMC.
The grief comes from those friends and colleagues who longed to see this day who did not live long enough to see the church take even the first step toward full inclusion.
The grief comes from walking alongside so many friends and colleagues that though the church has finally made this first step, the pain of harm and rejection are too deep for them ever to return. And, why would they.
I think the relief is mixed up in the joy of it all as well. Relief that with this historic two weeks, we can finally tell the truth when we say we have Open Hearts, Open Minds, and Open Doors. We can finally tell the truth when we say the UMC has an “open table,” when for so long it has only been open on three sides. I think the relief comes from the hopeful steps forward that Annual Conference and General Conference can be approached now with a sense of purpose, mission, hope, justice, and love rather than a dreaded feeling of more conflict with dwindling hopes of compassion and grace.
The joy comes for me in believing our UMC has more bright and hopeful future. I am so grateful for all those who tirelessly continued the struggle toward this moment and beyond. Not only being allies in advocacy, but even more importantly the persistence, strength, courage, and grace of our LGBTQIA+ siblings who refused to let injustice and the sin of the incompatible language go unchallenged!
The joy, I feel comes also from watching the leadership of our Great Plains Annual Conference and or General Conference these two weeks and knowing the future of our UMC is in good hands; Grace-filled, justice seeking, compassion laden, grounded in inclusivity and the love of God.
So, I will sit with this tension for some time. Grieving with those who grieve, celebrating with those who celebrate, sitting quietly with those who are still processing all the range of emotions these two weeks have brought. I am with you. I hear you. I see you. I love you.
It is a new day in our beloved United Methodist Church, now may we have the grace, stamina, fortitude, hope, and love to live fully into the wondrous decisions we have made! I believe Love Wins, I believe Love Always Wins, though I know there is still much work to be done to bring us to the reality of full inclusion. The fifty-plus years of arc bending has been brutal and harmful, but perhaps now we can work on healing and hope as we take the next steps into full inclusion in the life of our communities of faith.
Be a Light.
Love One Another.
Every. Single. Other.
Until there are no others.
Only One Beloved Community of All!
May it be so. May it be now!
~ Rev. Kent